Exploring Your Sexual Universe

So let's say you start finding your sex life a little boring...  you might not want to admit it, but it's just not as compelling to you as you'd like it to be these days. 

Or maybe you have a partner who feels that way...  or maybe you both do, but at the same time neither one of you wants to destabilize a relationship you value a lot. 

This happens to almost everyone many times over the course of their lives, and all it means is that you're ready to look around and do some exploring. 

Exploring is always a bit scary — you don't want to do anything stupid that you'll regret, or anything "wrong" that you'll be ashamed of, and you don't want to get hurt yourself, and you don't want to hurt anyone else.

Where sex is concerned, many people feel that the risks of exploring things that tempt them are way too big and the rewards too small, so it's better just to settle for what they already have.  Unfortunately, that's a huge risk in itself, and seldom works out very well (since it guarantees that you won't get some of the things you'd like). 

At the same time, there are definitely real dangers you face when you start leaving familiar territory — you can get yourself out on a limb pretty easily, and into trouble that makes you feel very stupid and may puts in jeopardy things you really care about. 

This section deals with a few of the sexual directions that some people have successfully explored, and talks about some of the opportunities and dangers you may encounter if those areas interest you.  Its main point throughout is that dangers are generally a lot more obvious than you might fear, and a lot easier to avoid as long as you're honest with yourself and with any partner who might join you in the exploration.  Yes, be cautious, but don't feel that you have to keep yourself locked up in an underground vault either. 

The biggest block getting in your way may just be the fear that our culture continually sows and cultivates in us.  For centuries, we've all collaborated in negative feedback loops where we assure each other that it would be bad and wrong to take sexual risks that interest us, and if we ourselves can't take them, nobody else should be allowed to either.  All that collaborative self-denial makes the risks seem bigger, which makes people all the more sure they shouldn't take them, and all the more bitter about people who do. 

This section tries to break that pattern, and encourages you to make up your own mind about things, using the same skills, courage and caution that makes you successful in other parts of your life.  The funny thing is, it really is your life, and your responsibility to choose how to lead it!