Page 19: — Desire

By that point, my inhibitions were out the window and I just wanted him.  I wanted him to fuck me, I wanted long, extended, heavy fucking, and more — I wanted to consume him, I wanted things I can't put a name to, I wanted everything, now. 

"Desire is sacred," he said, looking up into my eyes.  "Always sacred.  It's easy to forget that because of the inevitable pain.  " 

And he slipped out from under me. 

"What you desire, you often cannot have — at least not right away," he said. 

"What you want is within reach, everywhere.  But to hold it even for a moment is hard.  You have to bring together all the parts of your being, not just your intellect, your lust, conscience, dreams, obsessive longings or the hidden magic of your animal spirit or even just your laughter and joy.  You have to bring everything, your whole being, together in magical rightness to get what you desire.  Anything less leaves you yearning with disappointment on your tongue. 

"It's everyone's quest, but easy for no one.  " 

I wanted to masturbate, or something, but the feeling was gone.  Then the goddess came again. 

"Don't be sad," she told me.  "You'll meet him again in every man you desire, and have him in every man you truly fuck.  Come on, let's go add a new page to your book of daydreams.  "