Ecstasy

Ecstasy is an altered state of mind that sex and spirituality have in common.  Saying that it's probably mediated by dopamine suggests we have an idea of what goes on in the brain to produce it, but we still know very little (there are plenty of other things mediated by dopamine that aren't ecstatic).  Outside of orgasm, it's associated with trance states, "spirit possession," "epiphanies," some kinds of psychosis, and with psychotropic substances. 

The use of mind-altering drugs to achieve ecstatic transcendence is near-universal across humanity in all times and cultures.  As most of you are undoubtedly aware, "ecstasy" is a street name for a popular raver drug (MDMA).  Using drugs to enter an altered spiritual state goes back as far as we have records (and no doubt farther). 

Among the substances that have traditionally been used in a sacred context are alcohol, many different kinds of mushroom, various substances derived from toads, "soma" (we don't know what it was), peyote, tobacco, cannabis, opium, nutmeg, cohoba, Virola, ayahuasca, iboga, and numerous others, some quite poisonous.  Christianity, which borrowed so much from the Dionysian cults early on, identifies sacred wine as the blood of Christ, though only token amounts are taken in ritual these days. 

Drug use is a controversial subject, and rightly so because of the enormous damage that addiction causes, but for that very reason it deserves to be discussed seriously and openly.  For more information, see our mind drugs page. 

However, ecstatic experience is something that is widely sought-after and revered in many different forms.  One person may go into trance and speak in tongues, another may take LSD and walk on the beach, a third may fast and meditate so as to have visions, while a fourth may submit to prolonged torment so as to reach a mystical state of mind. 

For many people, though, the most common and powerful experiences of ecstatic transcendence in their lives are produced by intense orgasm in the right context.  And although such orgasmic mystical experience is usually not associated with the kinds of socio-religious revelations or quests that other forms of ecstasy can inspire, it is directly associated with creating and strengthening the kind of deep, enduring love that makes our worlds go round. 

Components of Orgasmic Ecstasy

Analyzing orgasm is tricky, especially since people's experience seems to vary quite a lot.  In my own orgasms, I think I can distinguish three components that I'll call heat, pleasure and depth, for lack of better terms. 

Heat  is arousal, lust, excitement, tension, hunger, wildness.  Wild circus sex is hot, and a hot orgasm is powerful, fierce and urgent.  Heat is fun. 

Pleasure  is the sensation of "Oh, that feels so good!"  It can go along with heat, but it can also be just as strong when you're in a cool, serene, meditative state.  As you approach orgasm, it usually gets so strong that it draws you out of your normal consciousness into a blissful trance.  After you climax, pleasure lingers on for a bit as a nice after-glow. Pleasure is beautiful. 

Depth  is the quality of the climactic moment, something you're not as aware of when you're in it as you are afterwards.  An orgasm can be both hot and pleasurable without depth — it leaves nothing behind after it's over except perhaps a kind of hollowness, a feeling that there should be more.  A deep orgasm, by contrast, may or may not be preceded by a lot of heat or pleasure, but always has a strong resonance in the after-glow, and brings with it a feeling of transcendence and completion that lingers for hours and even days thereafter.  Depth is satisfying.

I've had my deepest orgasms with people I love and trust deeply.

I make these distinctions because I think people tend to focus more on the heat and pleasure of their orgasms than on the depth, when the depth is actually what they care about most.  The thing about depth is that it seems (at least for me) to depend on love, trust and real intimacy.  Heat and pleasure kick-start and sustain our interest in sex, but depth is what we yearn for, what we need, and where we connect with the divine. 

(for things to do to achieve orgasm if you never have, and various techniques that some people use to enhance orgasm, see our orgasm page)